#though betrayal is something
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āIā¦Iā¦ā ā it felt sad when he vocalized (or confirmed) what she was thinking before. Even if she had known that she was (or could be) a threat it was something else to know and to be told so.
āI never implied you are powerless. I am aware you have means to performā¦your dutiesā¦ā ā she didnāt know what he could do (and didn't want to test it), but Nunnally was not powerless either ā āI donāt like the thought we couldā¦we would be forced to clash one day.ā ā that was an honest desire ā āBut I cannot exclude that will happenā¦one day.ā
Nunnally shivered. She suddenly felt cold and hopeless; a little girl left alone, deprived of love and care. She sighed and looked straight into Harutoās eyes; her blue eyes were kind, but there was a single tear in one of the eyes ā āI have aā¦missionā¦ā ā yes, a mission for the lack of a better word ā āā¦that I need to completeā¦andā¦ā
āā¦and you might not like where it leads me, Mr Abeā¦ā
āAll of us have pasts, donāt weā¦Mr Abe? And I sometimes think we are prompt to judge ourselves harsher than others would doā¦ā
She went silent. What would he tell if he knew her past. She killed. Unintentionally, but she did. And would do anything to please her father. Though she could not give him what he wanted. She was weak. Too weak: --
āI donāt care of who you were and what you did. Itās who you are now that matters to me.ā ā but she knew the people were usually different. She had experienced that. But not all people. And she wanted to know that she would not judge. Or at least she hoped she'd the one to repay with kindness for kindness.
"Of course I do..."
Haruto allowed the snowball to fall out of his hands, go colliding into the ground again, and he moved to join Nunnally on the bench. It was too cold for something like this, he thought, but if he stayed near her, they could be a bit more comfortable together.
"Anything that isn't human is a threat to my city. But I am not powerless. And furthermore, anything that can be a threat also has the potential to be an asset. If it's possible to be on cordial terms with you, darling, I see no reason for me to rock the boat. Too much anyway. At my core I am still a man that judges the souls of others. A little meddling is more or less engrained at this point. Of course I want to see you grow. I can see potential beyond measure in your soul..."
Sincerity and conflict all explained in one. He could also say that he was growing very fond of her and cared very much for her, but at this point he felt like those sorts of things were somewhat obvious. No need to say it. He wouldn't be sitting with her here in the snow if he didn't feel that way.
"That being said..." He continued, lowering his chin, "I am not a good man, like you say. I am growing, too, learning from my past mistakes. I am a better man than I used to be, but I have... So much to atone for. What I am now could never make up for what I've been."
#haruto#nunnally#verse: demon#falseapostle#tw#mentions of killing#though betrayal is something#she'd have issues to understand#or perhaps not?#as in this threat she thinks she is betraying herself
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im a child of divorce
#the bit is over when i say its over and even when its so joever for these two its not over for me!!! (once again i am on heavy copium)#anyway. thoughts behind the spoiler tags#gempearl#shiny duo#wild life smp#life series spoilers#wild life spoilers#i feel like. i actually was expecting that#no but its so funny the one time the negative consequences of something does actually get acknowledged its the SL finale ābetrayalā/j#like cmon fuck me i guess/j (BIG EMPHASIS. ON THE SLASH J. OKAY.)#but honestly though i did expect Gem to hold a grudge over the 2v1 in SL. and. its good that there are consequences???#it IS a ābetrayalā in Gemās eyes. they were friends. they were murder besties for the last two sessions and then Pearl chose Scar over her#and its awesome man. [through gritted teeth] this is awesome man this will be good for character development ok ok ok. ok?#its also got something to do with Pearl having the red creep in. i think#because during SL Gem was like. nearly idolising the Scarlet Pearl persona while vaguely aware that her own reputation has a similar effect#and yknow. the horrors. the fact that their image is so heavily built on what others deem them to be and they can only play into it#but by the end of SL Gem gets ābetrayedā by this persona that she looked up to#and also her own āGeminiSlayā intimidating image is also starting to fall apart. partly of her own will#and now shes watching Pearl slowly turn red again. and this time she knows its not good for her or Pearl#so shes distancing herself from it. shes ātrying to fix her reputationā. she sees Pearl falling into it again and just. no. i dont love you#you betrayed me last season#but on Pearlās end of things sheās already deep into the idea that as long as you say you āforgiveā someone then everything thats happened#in the past doesnāt matter and they can all be friends. and nooo absolutely no grudges will be held. no emotional repression here#so. because thats happened to her in her own team she thinks the same can happen with her and Gem#and thats so. im going to blow myself up now
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Judas's Betrayal
#something about using love and devotion as the ultimate betrayal#sometimes i feel as though every act of affection louis and armand shared was a performance#sorry i was raised catholic i cannot stop the biblical references#if i decide tomorrow that i need to fix several things and reupload this then you didnt see anything#loumand#ldpdl#armand#louis du lac#iwtv#iwtv art#my art
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it is quite funny to me as someone who studies philosophy and has had to have the conversations that bh and ludinus have been having many times over and often with people who like ludinus do not have any reading comprehension and truly like. the notion of āthis shouldnāt existā is almost always one that comes up regardless of whether itās a discussion on the metaphysics of a potential God(s) or divinity, high political powers, or vehicles of systemic oppression. and what anyone who cares about people more than their ideals (even, sometimes, ideals that started out being about people but quickly come to be about the ideals themselves) realizes very quickly in a philosophical discussion about what should and shouldnāt exist is that it does not matter if what youāve decided āshouldnātā exist does in fact already exist. like that tends to be the difference between sociopolitical philosophy that actually has teeth and substance in the world ā a willingness to engage with the world as it is, not as it should be. because you can have the perfect image of a just and wonderful future world, but if you do not at every step reckon with the unjust world from which you are aiming at that future, youāre doing nothing. ideals are helpful because they aim us toward goals and hopes, but theyāre nothing without a reality that grounds them.
and so people like ludinus, who in the real world would play the role of a graduate student with critical thinking skills that make every professor he comes across question how he arrived at his level of study, they donāt have Wrong ideals, thereās obviously plenty of reasons why an exandria without gods might in fact be a better place for mortals (there are also many Many reasons why it would not). but ludinus has also chosen his ideals to weigh heavier than the mortals he claims to uphold them with. i think ashton is also interesting, because i think a lot of their positions have a fun fluctuation between being ideal focused and person focused, where sometimes theyāre focused on how unfair life is in a very nihilistic position, and at other times they seem quite clear about how much ideals help no one if theyāre not second to the desire to help others. and i think that made their role in the convo with ludinus in 102 especially interesting and irritating (but in a narratively fulfilling way). anyway, truly so fun watching ludinus argue with the amount of fallacies and undeserved confidence of like right wing first year students in an ethics class explaining how actually the ends justify the means and thanos had the right idea actually if it means no more starvation. get a grip old man.
#ludinus da'leth#cr3#critical role#cr spoilers#ashton greymoore#i donāt think ludinus is neat at all i think heās fucking dumb as bricks and not even in an fun way#i do think he prompts interesting dynamics in the party though so heās extremely valuable in the narrative#but like . ludinus is truly emblematic of exactly what brennan was talkin about when he was referencing#ursula k le guin and talking about how evil is often simple and good is endlessly complex#it is Easy. (which is not to say unwarranted) to look at your own pain and say Burn Down Everything That Caused It And Threatens to Do So#And Burn Everything If It Allows Me To Protect Myself From Being Harmed Ever Again#which is. both ludinus and most of the betrayers#it is much much harder to feel the desire to burn everything and still find something worth fighting for anyway . even if itās just the#hope that you wonāt have to burn everything .
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Itās justā¦ it is everything that Cardan thought Jude would notice his āSO OBVIOUSā exile riddle and thinks Jude to not hesitate to come back. Beside his certainty of her cleverness to piece the riddle together, he believed he was that clear about his feelings toward her; he had thought she absolutely ought to know how he feels for her.
Like oh buddy. BUDDY. Your wife had thought of the answer to your little riddle like you thought she would. But guess what? She has detrimental TRUST ISSUES. (Likeā¦ Ur super mean and hot, I canāt blame her.) Anyway.. itās SUPER adorable of him to so wholeheartedly believe she wouldnāt question his trust. It reveals so much about his pov of thier relationship.
Jude thought Cardanās (silly) trick was a (vile) trick, when it was simply a: āIm trying to impress/pay you back in kind with our romantic metaphorical sparring and eventually get you out of political drama for a bit,ā trick.
Iām fucking laughing wow these delusional ass children I fucking love them.
#IM JUST NOW REALIZING I SPELT THEIR WRONG AND IM SO EMBARRASSED#at least it was the right theiršš#THEYRE SO REAL LMFAOOOOOO#like they both were so hot ofc they constantly questioned the validity of each others feelings#if the last part didnāt make sense Iāll explain#she knew he had tricked her into exile and when Jude was like ācan I pardon myself?ā she thought it was another trick to humiliate her#like girl it was to do THE OPPOSITE of humiliation#HE WAS SENDING YOU TO SAFETY UNTIL YOU COULD COME BACK AND FLAUNT UR NEW POSITION#but basically it revealed that he loved like Jude loves#that they have the same heart#(heās not like the reg folk. he grew up around so many mortals as she did the folk)#but heās a faerie so he doesnāt take caution to being unpredictable#Jude even knew: the folk could be humanlike but they (the folk) inevitably would do something to remind her that they STILL ARE folk#though she had too easily assumed that the folk acting like the folk meant betrayal#he thought the whole marriage thing had meant she fully trusted him#because he knew how hard it would be for her to give up her power over him#and he thought because that she had given up her ability to command him(comma) that she couldnāt doubt trusting him any longer#queen of nothing#the cruel prince#the wicked king#Jude Duarte#jurdan#cardan greenbriar#tfota#Iāve known them since I was 13 theyāre much older in my stubborn pov#also me using the semi colon as if Iām sure that itās proper grammar LMAOOOOO#confidence is key
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im probably being insane and reading too much into this but is it common for andraste to be referred to as maferaths "heart"???? you know. maferath the BETRAYER. calling his lover his HEART. because uhhhhhhhh i can think of another very significant great betrayer who also calls his lover, the herald of andraste, his heart...
im not even sure what this metaphor is supposed to mean or if "his heart" even refers to andraste, it could definitely just be a way of saying maferath had become heartless and "devoured" by jealousy and thats why he did nothing to save her, but the language is so familiar? genuine question if this is done in other places in the lore because it seems a little bit of a suspicious parallel???
#i know this is insane but i saw this and went.... huh?#i dont really pay much attention to chantry lore though so maybe there is an explanation for this but... cmon...#betrayer who calls their lover his heart... what else am i supposed to think of....#and we will just ignore the potential foreshadowing if this is something#that the betrayers heart will be devoured and he will turn away and do nothing :D#solas#solas dragon age#dragon age#dragon age spoilers#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#da:v spoilers#da:v#dav spoilers#da:tv spoilers
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would i be considered a lunatic if i said that horror's story could be read as a parallel for SA. Hear Me Out: (obviously be careful for reading this bc like,,, sensitive topic)
i feel like the largest parallel could be the actual event of getting his eye taken. a part of his body is "taken" and literally or metaphorically horror was pinned down and forced to give up his body (even worse considering that a literal part of him was PULLED out with a foreign object designed solely to hurt HIM SPECIFICALLY). it's digusting and horror claws and fights his way out to prevent it but unfortunately it still ends up happening no matter what he could've done. no matter how many backup plans or extra contibutions or begging or fighting he did. which like. sounds honestly pretty simple to the reality of victims of SA. that hopelessness of knowing that even if you did as much as you could, covering up, devoting yourself to a life of chastity, not hanging with people like thay, there's still a chance that something bad could happen and all of a sudden everyone's out to get you and how could they just stand by and do NOTHING while you were left to suffer and defend yourself
which leads onto the next point i wanna bring up which is horror's rage immediately after getting his eye stolen. his anger at the betrayal is (very justified my boy did nothing to deserve this) solely about him and his bodily autonomy. undyne (and alphys ig,,,,) couldn't consider ANY other possible solution than to deprive him of his autonomy and decide to just take what they wanted from his body??? AND THE FACT THAT ALPHYS SAID THAT HE MIGHT AGREE TO GIVING UP HIS EYE? it's giving very much so "oh it'll feel good so don't worry" type shit or whatever (horrortale alphys i DONT like you). a betrayal at the hands of someone you trusted a lot about your bodily autonomy? it just gives off that sort of parallel
and the sheer anger and fury that horror felt and enacted on alphys and undyne and everyone else at the CORE just like DUDE. that is a type of anger that only comes out when you've been deeply wronged. sometimes when a horrific experience like getting SAed happens you just wanna explode and drag down everyone around you and ESPECIALLY the perpetrators no matter how much you rationalize. you can have as many people as you want try to convince you that revenge and being hateful isnt the way but it doesn't matter because they havent been wronged the way youve been. horror deserved to be that cruel because undyne and alphys were just as cruel back to him, so he'll be the same and return it 10fold (he probably wasnt even out of bones when he decided to turn them into chips he just wanted to make it a point that he didn't even need to use his full strength to hurt the guards. horror could've EASILY killed alphys but no he wanted it to hurt for her so she could live a life of eternal suffering and fall to her lowest and to ESPECIALLY hurt undyne. because they deserve to suffer just as much as he did if not more for the crime commited against him)
a betrayal as bad as alphys's is only worsened when she tells him that she doesnt regret a single thing about using him for the underground. that has to be the single most infuriating thing for horror to hear because WHAT DO YOU MEAN alphys doesn't regret a thing? that's exactly what some people gloat about after doing terrible things; they try to sweep it under the rug as nothing that bad or justify it OR JUST STRAIGHT UP ADMIT IT!!! nah horrortale alphys deserved to suffer idc
and back onto that feeling of wanting to kick and scream and drag everyone else down with you after being left so used and betrayed due to getting SAed: i know it was bad that horror tricked snowdin into eating humans it was TERRIBLY BAD but really horror was just operating on anger and spite and the need for vengeance. nobody in snowdin ever did anything to hurt him (and i'm sure horror knows that considering he definitely regrets what he did) but to him maybe they also should feel the pain he feels so they can all relate. so that they can't try and fight against him when he says his side of the story and say that undyne was right with what she did. that maybe he wouldn't feel so absolutely devastated after what happened if he saw everyone around him suffering too, and maybe JUST MAYBE he'd get a bit of something back from his sacrifice that he never consented to
i KNOW i'm not reaching with this but idk if i phrased it the best. but to me horror's story really does genuinely parallel to one of an SA survivor's: the betrayal, the anger, the feeling of loneliness and isolation and just feeling absolutely used for a simple thing as your body. chapter 4 of horrortale really is amazing storytelling and so is horror (he was reasonable in what he did IDC WHAT ANYONE SAYS he might be WRONG but it was reasonable. i love horror sans)
#i'm sorry if this is like kinda not srs enough for this topic just know that this came from a place of genuine relation to horror#his story resonates a lot to me about my own personal experiences and the anger and betrayal i felt myself#and i just wanted to point out the similarities i saw š#i think that maybe even without realizing it that he might feel replused at sex and especially the intimacy part#touching his eye socket or head wound is like reliving the entire situation over again and he does NOT WANT THAT AT ALL#its a part of his body that he cant just get rid of because it's necessary which SUCKS#the snarkiness that horror has against undyne even after 7 years is so real#you NEVER forgive your abuser in that situation. i know damn well that the grudge will continue to last on for many more years to come#one day horror and undyne might be able to make up and coexist but horror wont ever be able to TRULY forgive her#a part of you changes viscerally for the worse when you go through something so traumatic#and i think horror's outburst fits that change a lot. it seems almost sudden how quickly he goes from sans to horror#and even though he was still spiralling before the CORE he probably wouldn't have changed so drastically without a betrayal THIS bad#he better get the BEST potential ending in horrortale or else i will RIOT#if aliza doesnt save horrortale and give them all the freedom they DESPERATELY NEED#SAS pls SAS pls don't doom them even more than they already are thats all i need#this metaphor is made even worse with my idea that killer or dust pull him around by the eye or skull#probably not dust (when he's calm (when he's not all boundaries get thrown out the window)#but with killer probably. he doesn't particularly care about what horror wants or keeps to himself#if it gets a barely amusing reaction then sure whatever. horror gets unreasonably pissed anyway for someone who just got his eye taken#in fights they could make it a point to hold onto his skull near the eyewound as tightly as possible#just to make it HURT. dust wants horror to remember him with as much hate as he does for undyne#killer does it to get him to remember that moment except this time no he can't fight back. just to keep him in line#it sucks i know but this trio was never truly made to improve eachother. they were made to drag eachother down worse than they already are#tricule analyze#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio#utmv
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Rest
Summary: As a zephyr of light wind passed the cloaked wraith. The bustling, lively sounds and sights of Treasure town are unable to capture his attention. For the Gripper PokƩmon was too busy tending to a certain pup, gently resting in his arms.
[Word Count: 3731]
āāāāāāā
āRiolu, Emanation PokĆ©monā
āIt is a widely known fact that rioluās have a tendency to curl up and nestle into PokĆ©mon they fully trust. Though, a rare phenomenon, seeing as they can sense oneās intentions. Youād be lucky to have one of them even remotely tolerate you.ā
ā¦
ā¦Itād been text from a book Dusknoir had picked up recently out of morbid curiosity, mainly as to figure out why a certain young aura pup with him had been soā¦ needy. Suffice to say, the answer heād gotten did not disappoint, feeling a great sense of pride, and fondness swelling deep inside his chest.
āMmmnā¦ā
Speaking ofā¦
ā¦An Aura pokĆ©mon had been slumbering peacefully on the ghost-type for the past hour or soā having curled himself into a tiny ball on Dusknoirās scarred chest. It was a foreign feeling. Yet it endeared the specter to the riolu. The cloaked ghost could feel the small aura pupās breathing, as well as his little heart, beating rhythmically within his small body.
Rather than picking up the boy and letting him lay on the grassā¦ Dusknoir had kept him close. Even going as far as to take extra precautionary measures ensuring the young pup had been comfortable. The Gripper PokĆ©monās giant hand reached for the Relic fragment and red scarf wrapped around his yellow neck furāgently loosening it with his index finger and thumb. Before placing it on the soft patch of grass.
It was a strange feeling, having something barely as big as Dusknoirās hand, peacefully dozing on him without a single hint of fear ā¦If anything, heād assumed his imposing stature would scare the riolu away. But seeing the pup like thisā¦ it made the ghost-type feel serene. Dare he goes far as to say a little delighted, especially when putting into consideration the circumstances around it.
Normally the riolu would be working himself a mile-a-minute, having been too anxious to rest for even a second with the dreaded āTime Gear thiefā on the loose. Everyone at the guild, including his own Eevee partner, had begged for the Riolu to calm down. To rest. That Grovyle would be captured in due timeā¦ yet to no avail. So to see the young, agitated PokĆ©monā¦ finally having a moment of peaceā¦ It had made Dusknoir slightly protective of the Riolu, wanting to ensure that the poor, young pup got his much needed rest.
Any Treasure Town residents that had passed the two PokĆ©mon had been met with a simple nod of acknowledgement, or finger hovering under his red and gold eye in a āshushingā-like motion. Heād sometimes even glare at certain PokĆ©mon who were being obnoxiously loud. Which usually did the trick. But every single time, the ghost-typeās attention would fall back to the little pup.
āMmnā¦ nnghā¦ā
Aimilios had let out a tiny yawn, before shifting to sleep on his other side. Dusknoir found himself smiling towards this small action, gently reaching his massive hand towards the riolu.
āTired little one, arenāt you..?ā Dusknoir hummed, petting his fur gently.
ā..Mhm..ā Aimilios unconsciously responded with his eyes closed. He yawns, before nuzzling into the ghost even further.
āI see.ā Dusknoir chuckles out, responding humorfully towards the rioluāsā¦ clearly concise response.
The sleepy aura pup used his tiny paws to hold onto Dusknoirā His equally small tail and knees curling in an admittedly endearing attempt to hide from the cold. Thatād go without even mentioning the momentary twitching of his earsā all of which endeared the cloaked ghost-type even further towards the riolu.
He bellows a chuckle, continuing to pet the fighting-type with his large handā humming to himself. Dusknoir continued to watch over the riolu fondly, securing the small fighting-type safe in his armsā offering warmth as he continued to watch him idly with a half-lidded eye. As the pup held onto Dusknoir unconsciouslyā¦ he couldn't help but wonder where his trust in the ghost-type spawn from so quicklyā¦?
Despite his positive reputation as āThe Great Dusknoir '' perceiving him, aswell as saving him and Ribbons from Amp plainsā¦ he knew just how easily frightened Aimilios was. Especially considering the reputation and intimidating features ghost-types are known forā¦ and thatās without touching upon the sizable differences compared to the pup. It played a small factor in why Aimilios evaded him and his affections in the beginning.
Dusknoir knew his hand alone was probably big enough to equal that of the rioluās body size- it wouldnāt be difficult to snuff the life out of him with a single, bone-crushing gripā to simply be done with his mission.
And yet.
āā¦ā¦ā
ā¦There Aimilios was, gingerly sleeping on the ghost-type after a long, somewhat uneventful day.
_____
Just an hour ago, the Gripper PokĆ©mon had been reading under a shaded tree, wanting to take in the world of the past as much as possible before his inevitable return to the dark, bleak future that had awaited him. It wasā¦ a nice and rare leisurely pass time for the ghost; Dusknoir wanted to savor every bit of it. Especially with the even rarer moments of free time where he could put the celebrity facade to rest. It came to a halt however, the wraith catching the slightest hint of blue in the corner of his eye.
āHm..?ā
A frozen riolu, whoād been staring at Dusknoir from afar. It was rather obvious he was trying to muster up the courage to interact with the ghost-type. With a smile, Dusknoir decided to invite the riolu overā humming with a nod.
Off in the distance, Aimiliosā¦ clearly wasnāt expecting an offer from the famous Dusknoir to come sit with him. Judging from how caught off-guard heād been. The cloaked specter only chuckled at the riolu doing a double-take; looking both ways before pointing to himself. Heād almost yelped when he saw Dusknoir signaling him over, giving him the go to come nearā¦ It felt almost unreal to the fighting-type. Trying to hide his fear, (and excitement), Aimilios awkwardly shuffles his way towards the Great explorer.
ā¦At first itād been rather quiet; with Dusknoir reading and Aimilios staring up at the sky, with the occasional, unsubtle glimpse of the book the ghost-type had been reading. Dusknoir didnāt mind however, pretending to not notice the rioluās obvious interest. Not wanting to put the riolu on the spot so suddenly.
He allowed the curious pup to peer over his shoulder, pretending to be oblivious to the rioluās excitement. It was until Aimilios piped up with the tiniest, excited bark; pointing at one of the passages the cloaked specter had skimmed, that he finally acknowledged the riolu. Aimilios almost immediately apologized for the outburst, (almost as formally as Dusknoir, which humored the ghost-type.) but Dusknoir only raised an eyebrow, shifting the book closer to make it easier for the both of them to read.
āO-oh!-ā Aimilios stuttered. āIām sorry Mr. Dusknoir, sir! I didnāt mean t-toā!ā
āNo no, by all means!ā Dusknoir boisterously spoke, shaking his head. āIād quite enjoy your company. It was beginning to get rather quiet.ā
The large ghost-type smiled warmly, the wrinkles in his eye folding up. Dusknoir preferred silenceā but heād added in that last bit to ease the rioluās nervesā curious to see more of this side of Aimilios.
The ghost patted the patch of grass, signaling Aimilios to sit near him. He awkwardly scoots overā falling strangely silent once moreā¦ but with a little reassurance and time, the aura pup had started to wag his tail, excitedly pointing from passage-to-passage with enthusiasm. Not only eagerly asking the ghost-type questions about certain things within the book, but also explaining passages to himā¦ displaying his sharp-wit and intellect despite his younger age.
Aimiliosās brightness and eagerness to learn, mesmerized Dusknoir, to put it lightly. Heād never seen this side to the riolu before, despite hearing from Ribbonsā his smaller, more louder Eevee partner, plenty of times. Which piqued Dusknoirās interest, but he never quite got to see it.
ā¦Not until now that is.
Dusknoir had always assumed from their first interaction that heād done something to upset the Riolu. A miscalculation, perhaps. What he hadnāt accounted, was for the small child to pick up on some of his mannerisms. Psychoanalyzing the large revenant with terrifying accuracy. Something Aimilios stopped doing when he felt the renowned explorer staring at him for a little too long.
The cloaked revenant felt a shift in the fighting-typeās demeanor when Aimilios read his aura for the very first time; around when they conversed at the Kelceon Market, to be more specific. Going from a soft-spoken, yet starry-eyed pupā¦ into a more uncomfortable, timid formā hiding behind his smaller partner. He saw this same, apprehensive look in the Rioluās eye when they were on the beach. Where Dusknoir had insisted that he āunfortunatelyā didnāt have any information to spare regarding his Eevee partnerās memory. The wraith sensed Aimiliosās sudden want to leave when he presumably absorbed the nauseating aura radiating from him.
Thisā¦ admittedly somewhat saddened the large ghost-type. He didnāt understand why he seeked the small aura pupās acquiescence the way he did. But it hurt to see the aura pupās blood pressure spike whenever heād gotten near. Perhapsā¦ because of how terrified and shy Aimilios wasā¦ he reminded the battle-scarred phantom of himself when he was a meek Duskull.
Compared to his partner, who he seemed to already have wrapped around his finger, it was clear to the cloaked specter how much more patience and maintenance the riolu required. Being extra cautious and kind around the fragile pup. Making himself out to be approachable as possible as he sought out the young fighting-type. Taking priority in the rioluās as he took him under his wing, personally training and educating the young pup. In one-on-one sessions together.
It didnāt take long for the rest of Treasure town to see the clear special treatment heād been giving the Riolu. Ribbons were also an exception, but it was clear how much less tense and strict the Great Dusknoir had become around the Aura PokĆ©mon.
Heād greeted other PokĆ©mon in the township rather professionally, but when Aimilios had approached and tugged on his cloak sheepishly. It felt as if the ghost-type became an entirely different PokĆ©monā floating closer to the ground and extending careful hands towards the pup as he warmly greeted him.
Though the majority of his kindness had been fabricated towards the beginningā¦Dusknoirās gestures slowly grew to be more genuine. It was indescribable. To see the timid riolu slowly grow more comfortable around him. Whether itād been a small smile, or watching as the small PokĆ©mon reached for his large hand. Curling his black mittened paw over his finger as the pup rambled on about what he was previously telling the now endeared specter. Holding his paw back with a gentle squeeze.
Aimilios looked happy merely seeing another PokĆ©mon take him and his interests seriously. Dusknoir couldnāt help but feel a sense of accomplishment, being able to aid in breaking the riolu out of his shell. The pup had gone on and onā¦ to the point of tuckering himself out. Hohoā¦
ā¦Eventually leading to where they were now in the present. Finding the same, reticent aura pupā¦ sleeping comfortably on him. Dusknoirās cloak tendrils curl around in a protective barrier at the mere sight alone. Dusknoir simply watched over Aimilios as he continued to cling onto him like a baby Komala... It was a sight the Gripper PokĆ©mon had been taking in for the past hour.
āNghhā¦ā
The Gripper PokĆ©mon observed quietly as Aimilios woke upāin the form of a little stretch whilst yawning, smacking his lips. The fighting-type rubbed his eyes open, whirling his head left and rightālooking as if heād been trying to figure out which continent he was on. Humoring the wraith quite a bit.
āThisā¦ā Aimilios groggily begins. āā¦isnāt the guildā¦ā
Dusknoirās stomach maw parted slightly, letting out a low, rumbling chuckle at the now awakening Riolu. Aimiliosās eyes drift upwards, squinting at the source of the noiseā¦ only to find himself on top of the gargantuan wraithās chest.
āNo, I do not believe it to be so either.ā The gargantuan wraith lightly jokes.
āD-Dusknoir..?!ā He exclaimed, staring up at the cloaked ghost-type thatād been holding him for the past hour, his tail frizzing out visibly as his ears and black appendages perked up.
āGood afternoon, Aimilios.ā Dusknoir chuckled out in a playful wit, continuing to lightly tease the young riolu.
āW-why am I here..?! Did I..?ā Aimilios frantically sputtered. He nearly leapt off the dusknoir; his paws hoisting his upper body as he continued to whip his head left and right. Interrupting Dusknoir with his frenzied panic.
āā¦Aimilios?ā Dusknoir had stopped smiling at this point, his worry increasing from the Rioluās frantic movement. āPlease, try to calm downā I donāt understand-ā
āO-oh noā oh no no noā!ā Aimilios holds his paws on his face in disbelief; red pupils shrink as more and more intrusive thoughts fill the aura pupās mindā āI didnāt mean toā!ā
āAimilios.ā
ā¦Dusknoir admittedly felt horrible, slightly raising his voice towards the panicking riolu. But it was the only way he could stop whatever train of thought Aimilios was having right in its tracks.
āJust slow down.ā He cuts the terrified aura pup off, stroking his face with his huge, scarred thumb. Calming the small riolu. His words prove effective, seeing as Aimilios froze completely per Dusknoirās request. He continues to pet the riolu, trying to calm the little one down.
āIā¦ā
āā¦Itās quite alright.ā He says, already have forgiven the young fighting-typeā his soft smile not leaving his face. āNowā¦ Did you rest well?ā
Aimilios stares wide eyed, almost bewildered by the ghostās question. After a couple of seconds have passed, he coyly looks away, nodding slightly with the tiniest āmhm.ā
Another low chuckle.
āI'm glad to hear.ā
Despite this, Aimilios looks away from the giant wraith, almost ashamed of his actions. Dusknoirās expression contorts to that of slight worry.
āā¦What troubles you?ā The large specter asks, his head slightly tilting in confusion at the rioluās movements.
āWh-why didnāt you wake me upā¦?ā
āPardon..?ā Dusknoir eye widens slightly. Aimilios breaking away eye contact as he does.
āā¦W-With all due respect Dusknoir sir..!-ā Aimilios yelps. āY-You couldāve just told me to leave you aloneā¦! You didnāt have to wait that entire time just for me to w-wake up..!ā
Ah.
āYou looked peaceful.ā Dusknoir calmly stated. āI did not intend to disturb you.ā
āWh?- Why not..!?ā Aimilios shouts near the end, covering his mouth with his paws towards his outburst. The riolu now having gotten the ghost-typeās full attention, who looked down towards the young Pokemon in concern.
āWas there something you were planning to do today?ā Dusknoir woes. āForgive me, Aimilios. If I had known, I would haveā
āThatās not it..!ā
āThenā¦ what is?ā Dusknoir had sat up more straightly at this point; giving his full, undivided attention to the terrified riolu. The ghost-typeās expression is filled with concentration; traces of worry added into the mix.
āExcuse me for my bluntnessā¦ butā¦ I donāt quite understand what youāre trying to tell me.ā
Aimilios looks bewildered at the last part of Dusknoirās sentence.
āI-I mean-..! Youāre the Dusknoir..!ā Aimilios exclaims. Gesturing to the ghost with both of his paws stretched out. āYouāre the world renowned explorer of the Grass-continents..! You probably had a bunch of important work you couldāve been doingā¦!ā
Dusknoirās expression shifts slightly.
āā¦You didnāt have to wait on a nobody like meā¦ā Aimilios pouts. āI-I wouldāve gotten out of your way if youād just told me-ā
Aimilios is cut off rather abruptly by the cloaked ghost. He feels himself suddenly being cradled against the phantomās body. His cloaking wrapped all around the grass and riolu in a protective, outer ring. Dusknoir makes quiet shushing noises in an attempt to soothe the little riolu. Aimilios feels his stress slowly evaporate the longer heās held. The young fighting-type shuts his eyes as he sinks a little into the soft, dark-gray like flesh.
āIs that all..?ā
āā¦ā
āAimilios.ā Dusknoir began softly, yet with assuredness in his words. āYou need not worry about how I spend my time. Whether it be work, job requests, or even to sign autographs.ā He inhales a deep breath, before sighing melancholically. āThat being saidā¦ā
The Gripper PokĆ©mon rubs the side of his face with his large thumb in circular motions in an attempt to console the self-deprecating Riolu. He cups the rioluās face with his large, battle-scarred palms, making certain that the young boy was looking at him when he says his next words. āI wished to spend my time with you. I wanted to be here, regardless of whatever duties I could have been attending to.ā
Aimilios looks up at Dusknoir with his glassy eyes. His words getting through to him once more.
āSo restā¦ I wonāt be going anywhere, lest you request me to.ā
āā¦ā¦ā The riolu stares at the ghostly giant for quite some time. Bewildered by the sheer authenticity of his words. All while the same, soft expression never leaving his eye. Aimilios was trying to find a hint of irony or perhaps even cruel sarcasmā¦ but all he sees is Dusknoirās real and faux, gold eyes. Smiling softly.
āY-You mean itā¦?ā
āI do.ā
āAndā¦ā Aimilios stutters āY-you donāt mindā¦?ā
Dusknoir brings the riolu closer to him.
āNot one bit.ā
āā¦ā¦ā¦okay.ā Aimilios mumbled, barely audible, but just loud enough for Dusknoir to hear. He sees Aimilios no longer fighting to keep his eyes open. Dusknoir softly smiles once more. He watches Aimilios shifting around to get more comfortableā balling both of his little paws into fists. The Riolu huddles into himself once more. Something in the rioluās chest twinges with a warm feeling when he sees Dusknoir gathering him closer into his armsā¦ Aimilios smiles at Dusknoir one last timeā before returning to his sleep. Being held gently by the large figure watching over him.
āā¦Comfortable?ā
A nod, Aimilios willingly allowing himself to go limp in Dusknoirās embrace. The ghost-type feels the young riolu smiling.
āIām glad to hear it.ā A large, gentle finger reaches to move the black appendage covering Aimiliosās face. He stared fondly at the aura pup, who was now finally allowing himself to be vulnerable around Dusknoirā¦ the ghostās mind wanders back to the book heād been reading. About how difficult it was to gain the trust of a PokĆ©mon such as Aimilios, considering their built-in lie-detector in aura sensingā¦ and how much trust he put in Dusknoir.
āā¦...ā a slight shadow fell over the ghostās face as more sinister, deadpan expression twisted in the specterās eyeā looking away from Aimilios.
How it pained him knowing soon that Aimilios would come to realize how foolish heād been, trusting a deceptive PokĆ©mon such as himself.
But for nowā¦Heād indulge in this momentā¦ heāll take in the scene laying right before him. Of when Aimilios still trusted in him. Heāll carry out this meaningless delusionā¦ just a little longer.
āRest wellā¦little stalwartā¦ā Dusknoir hummed softly. Gazing at the Aura PokĆ©mon once more with the same fondness heād been looking at him since heād first slept. His cloak wisps and surrounds the small fighting-typeā swaying and curling in-tune with the ghostās emotions towards Aimilios. The time for their confrontation will come, but for nowā¦
ā¦Heāll keep Aimilios happy.
For as much time as he has left.
ā¦
Dusknoir stayed true to his word as he held the small riolu until sundown. Orange-pink skies were now replaced with a star-filled night overhead. A black, yet beautiful tranquility fell upon the town and its residents as the revenant took in the majestic view. Nights in the present were eons better in comparison to the empty future.
The ghost-typeās attention is promptly stolen by the young pup, sleeping gently in his arms. A small bit of warmth from the aura pokemon leaked into his chest from the time spent cradling him. Keeping the little one from freezing with insulation. But it was clear from the way Aimilios began shivering that his thin fur coat wasnāt enough to brace the elements.
āLetās get you somewhere warm, shall we?ā The cloaked revenant spoke to the unconscious aura pup, still smiling at the sight.
Dusknoir grabbed the Relic Fragment and red scarf laying on the patch soft grass. Now holding the rioluās belongings in his fist, the revenant begins departing onwards, floating straight to Wigglytuffās guild.
ā¦
He was aware of the curfew set for guild members. Primed of the knowledge thanks to a certain nosy brown fox. Dusknoir really had to speak with Ribbonsā snooping activities, especially regarding her guildmatesā personal journals. The ghost-type floated stealthily by the perched bird. Sparing the aura pup from a harsh scolding that would have awaited him in the morning.
The giant specter floated silently past the other guildmatesā rooms through the narrow hallway. He noticed Aimilios grimacing in his sleep as they went by Loudredās room. Which Dusknoir empathized with as soon as he heard the same, ear-splitting snore roaring from within. Itās no wonder the poor boy hadnāt gotten any sleep.
Upon entering Team Hopeās dormitory, Dusknoir is greeted with the sight of a slumbering Eevee. Laying flat on her back with her maw agapeā drool dripping from the side of her mouth. If her hind legs twitching was any to go byā It was clear the Eevee was dreaming aboutā¦ something. What that was could be anyoneās guess, Dusknoir internally chuckled to himself. Her snores, while not as loud as her purple companion, wereā¦ unnatural to say the least. Sighing heavily, the cloaked wraith hovers over Aimilios's haybed. But stops himself halfway.
Almost hesitant to let go.
Between the Riolu and his vixen partner, physical contact with the young Eevee was much, much more common. Ribbons would almost always be located somewhere around his bodyā mainly his ruffs. Dusknoir thoroughly enjoyed her company, despite her complete disregard for personal space.
Then there was the Riolu, who was the complete opposite.
Any attempts made at getting physically closer to the riolu were met with shy declines. Most of which, weāre always laced with a hint of fear, looking up at the ghost type before backing away slowly. Which the Gripper PokĆ©mon understood. It was a given, afterall. Ghost-types weāre not known for their positive reputation or welcoming looks. Even if Aimilios was starstruckā he would only retreat from Dusknoir at the very last second.
So when the aura pup finally felt comfortable enough to not only climb on his stomach to better study the book heād been skimming. But to fall asleep right on his chestā¦?
It felt almost sacred.
ā¦
After moments of contemplation, the hesitant wraith gently placed the young PokĆ©mon down. The Riolu didnāt make it any easier on the elder ghost-type, who kept clinging onto him as he tried to let go. Once detached from Aimilios, Dusknoir floats back the way he came. Not before taking one, final glance towards the sleeping pup.
#pmd eos#pmd writing tag#still somewhat a novice!! :333#but Iām confident that Iām getting better :) reaching a point where 2k words is common#(though it has to be something Iām really into/wanna writefhckvjdkdn)#anyways!!! hope u guys enjoy some Dusknoir/Aimilios fluff :] (gonna shift focus between Ribbons and Aimilios as equally as possible)#Riolu/Aimilios#Dusknoir#(MUCH MORE LIGHTHEARTED FIC DESPITE THE SLIGHTLY OMINOUS END)(I wanted to keep it that way but this IS pre betrayal so <:(
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(( What time is it? Yeahhhhh, more @slay-the-heroine by @tai-janai, traditional edition))
Another Sly Spectre
Chapter 3 Buddies (something something narrator things fucked them up)
#sly spectre#slay the heroine#3rd's art#the maze#the point#need to get my device back haha#anyways love these guys#so far chapter 3s have something to do#with the narrator that has me thinking#anyways on another note it seems like#the guards (readers) are heading towards a#witch or beast route#though it could become nightmare haha#i want beast but it's probably gonna be witch#excited to see!!!#wonder what witch will be like#the non inquisitive damsel is instead sharp#the earnest spectre is instead sly#stranger is wary#witch plans go betray and there isn't trust#wonder how that will be different in the heroine#no blade heroine expects you to do something#not necessarily freeing her#would she be as suprised or disheartened by betrayal as the princess?#MANY THOUGHTS#assuming we get witch haha#slay the princess
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Are there any other wizarding families that are underexplored in canon and pique your interest in a similar way to the Blacks?
This is a unique function of what food my brain worms like to eat, but no one's doing it like the Blacks. The drama? The intrigue? The Gothic horror? The prodigal sons and lost daughters and killers and sinners and martyrs and saints? The wizard Catholicism of it all? The story of the House of Black is the best book never written.
#i do think the potters could benefit from fleshing out#like harry's got no cousins or grandparents on his dad's side and that's weird to me#because his parents were... 22? so... how early did james's parents die? and how? because they're not old enough for natural causes#though to be honest. if i could add one backstory to canon it wouldn't be the potters OR the blacks#it would be peter pettigrew and the story of his betrayal#most important decision in the whole fucking series. lynchpin of the novels' decade-spanning plot#and it's like. whoops. motivation machine broke!#WHY did he do it? we have no mcfucking clue#the potters and blacks are cool to think about but ultimately just extra dressing for the plot#understanding peter pettigrew is crucial to understanding why the novels happen and we simply don't!#EDIT: just remembered the pottermore canon that the Potters have james when they're much older and that's why they're not around#that's not satisfying to me for 2 reasons 1: wizards canonically have longer-than-normal lifespans#and 2: doesn't explain how/why the Evanses disappear after Lily's death#like I'm not saying they COULDN'T die ā obviously could! my grandparents were all dead before my 20s#but that was like. cancer. and in one case aggressively accelerated liver failure#just like a throwaway line or something to clear it up would've been cool#since it's not so much a plot hole as a plot pothole#we can get over it but shit's smoother without
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#bnha#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#herovamp.ā¤ļø#im sooo excited for all of them and im a little writers blocked and i cant pick so ill ramble in tags!!#š¾ is an au where they bond over a fictional gashapon collectibles line on an online collectors forum!ā#shoto is a trans girl and she changes her name to shouka -> this is actually pretty consistent across my fics lol#ochaco is really encouraging and supportive as a friend and excited for shouka to visit her though this is kind of misguided because she is#ultimately encouraging her best friend to run away from home LMAO. theyre like super close and consider each other family like ochaco would#adopt that girl as a sister in a heart beat#theyre cutes#very much a focus on pre canon shoukaās relationship with her family aince its through her pov#š¤¼āāļø was originally based off of the betrayal toni storm and mariah may promo#one that i like a lot#but since ive been watching some early jon moxley stuff like ipw style i really liked the idea of getting more brutal with it#im still going with a sort of midnight as a mentor figure idea and mt lady wanting the glory of her spotlight in their promo#they get really nasty with it#but they have to balance it woth their secret behind the scenes relationship!!!!#like how do you balance that violence with the tender nature of your actual relationship#š is my cute little rarepair idea. i like the idea of nejire having massive gay panic over being 18 and being able to work with beautiful#lesbian pros. really funny to me#i wanted to put them in a modern setting with some magical elements i think. just because its something different!#nejire as a college bookstore worker. ryukyu as an artisanal book maker and seller. she gets nejire to intern/apprentice with her and it#turns out the books are made magically!#š kind of obsessed with this one#shouka is tormented by her usual torments. all might has stepped down as number one.#earlier. heās been restoring a theater as a community project. izuku is really into this and he gets his friends from 1a into it#shouka is like. im not doing thay. but eventually she ends up coming along and slowly she makes friends through the power of theater. maybe#discovers that she doesnt want to be a hero. opens up. discovers herslf. im obsessed with this one.
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*screams into the void*
#the way he like seems to be choking back a sob of emotions before he says this#he can't bear the fact that he's causing her pain#and that there's nothing he can do to stop it#even though talking openly would help her but he can't do that#because if he does he would have to be vulnerable and if he's vulnerable aelswith might think him weak#which is something he knows she abhors (even though she hates it because of her own feelings of being seen as weak and unworthy)#and he can't bear her rejection because he loves her and if she were to reject him it would destroy him#he can be this open with uhtred because its a manipulation tactic#he's using vulnerability to get uhtred to do what he wants and thats why he can be so open in this scene. he's doing it strategically#but to be open with aelswith leaves him (in his mind) open to losing her since he's caused her so much pain throughout their marriage#and he would have to face the fact that he's done that and she might not forgive him and he can't do that#aelswith is so upset in this scene because she thinks its his final way of saying to her āyou aren't worthyā when really its a tactic#to help ensure that she and their children will be safe#but they literally cannot properly communicate with each other because of all of the painful history between them#I'm going insane#I love them so much#they are everything to me#literally everything#he loves her so much#like he could not survive losing her - just the way he clings to her all throughout s3 speaks to that#I really think that because of the similarities between uhtred and aelswith uhtred's betrayal makes him start to fear that he could lose he#and he just starts to cling to her for reassurance that she'll never leave and she won't stop believing in him#ok I'm done#for now#I'm crying#your honor I love them#they mean so much to me
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how do i turn qantoineās spontaneous marriage proposal to qetoiles into evidence of his early-days fear of qfrench drifing away and keeping secrets from one another
#the conversation takes place in antoineās vod: LāANNIVERSAIRE DE TALLULAH at 41 mins ish#like . okay . its such a fucking crazy moment to me that still lives in my head bc itās a a joke . but itās also not#he asks etoiles directly after spiderbit wedding . ādonāt you want to get married?ā#after it gets mentioned*#etoiles turns him down bc he ādoesnāt have time to fuck [he] needs to kill everyoneā#and antoine says āwell butā just a marriageā like itās the act itself that is the most important to him not anything that could come with it#the confirmation of partnership . of having someone to rely on . something that feels to him maybe more certain and solid than the#friendships antoine had at that point . like if he felt things were slipping and he was being left behind he wanted the certainty of#something like a marriage that is traditionally considered More important and certain .#and i think the end of their conversation is notable in how antoine brings up the notion of betrayal ā he getting betrayed by others and how#heās fed up with it . after etoiles says no to the marriage (though specifying that heās gonna think about it) antoine brings the whole#betrayal thing up after a pause . he doesnāt necessarily consider etoiles as having betrayed him but itās that lack of certainty#certainty that etoiles has refused to give him that makes him start to open up about how heās tired of people promising him things (or#seeming to promise him things) only to leave him out and in the dark . and thereās an insecurity there that really shines if you take this#moment into consideration with the Larger Shifting his character is going through .#like tldr ; qantoine has begun to realise that his friends are starting to form deeper bonds with other people and thus keep secrets with#them which to him means leaving him behind . taking notice of this he brings this up to his friends in . not exactly direct ways . he#talks about how he doesnāt like secret keeping but doesnāt seem to push much further and he also tries to remedy the issue#of feeling left behind by doing shit as discussed above ^ however on account of the InHuman iām not sure he understands what heās doing very#well . and as we know antoine doesnāt make much progress and ends up retreating into himself and beginning to keep his own secrets . to do#his own shady shit . to work in the shadows and not be honest with any of his friends either . to hold them at armās length despite how much#he still cares . the only person he puts his full trust into anymore is pomme . not ayp who he deems too underhanded . not bagz who he sees#as having started the whole āsecret keepingā stuff in the first place . and not etoiles whoās actively going down a path with the codes and#resistance that he cannot follow#that was NOT a short tldr . why the fuck am i writing dissertation length tags about MINECRAFT BLOCKS#god whatever who cares i get joy out of this thats what matters#anw if you read this far holy shit ur insane . thank you#i am going to bed now godbless !#jay rambles#qfrench.posting
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Every day I get dangerously closer to doing Heel Math. Which not only hurts my brain, but also makes me feel like I'm betraying myself........ there's NO WAY Moe stands at 5'6" in the hooves. No fucking way. Is Sharena 5'4" with or without the heels? She HAS to be One Inch Taller than Moe. Because Moe is 5'3". Don't even get me fucking STARTED on Alfonse allegedly being 5'11", something I've been taking as gospel from the art book, but there's no way. He has to be 5'11" WITH the heels. He Has To. There's NO WAY he's a whole ass 5'11" AND cunting it up on the battlefield to hit past 6 feet. That's fucking ridiculous. Do I do whatever I want forever, using the official heights as guidelines? Do I finally succumb to Heel Math. To try and capture the general height differences ACCURATELY even when everyone is wearing their shoes. LIKE if Moe is wearing 3 inch hooves and Alfonse is also wearing 3 inch heels the balance of the universe is maintained. The worst part of this is referencing my own shoes, from flat but thick soles to heel-heels, and I feel like Moe's hooves have got to be closer to 3 and a half if not 4. I pulled out a measuring tape and everything. But there is NO WAY. NO WAY. THAT THANG IS STANDING AT 5'7". ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE??????????????
#moe tag#i have. like the opposite of height dysphoria. where being 5'3 is so intergral to my being that like#it feels like a betrayal. it is fun to wear heels sometimes but at my core. I AM ONE OF THE TALLER PEOPLE IN MY FAMILY#MY DAD IS SHORTER THAN ME. WE'RE ALL SHORT. ALL OF THIS IS IMPORTANT TO ME#all of this. i have to wrestle w. when drawing The Hooves. which are INTEGRAL to MOE#in the v beginning i thought about making moe a solid 5 feet so the heels could add up to 5'3.#this too feels like a betrayal though. to me. esp if the universe is expanding. don't you worry about that though (yet.)#i'm CRAFTING..... behind The Scenes.....#something that only really matters to one person BUT. IT'S IMPORTANT... TO ME... AS WELL...... it means everything to me...#regardless if anyone feels so inclined. would you indulge my heel math thoughts. i'm STRUGGLING OUT HERE!!!!! šššš
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Mmmhhh
#The biggest betrayal of my life has happened that is:#A friend insisted on me to read something and then when I finally started reading it lost interest in it.#And now I have no one to talk about it because if I'm interpreting things right they don't want to talk about it anymore šššššššš#Hashtag betrayed hashtag heartbroken#Anyways............ I have Questions about the jj/k plot can anyone help me out#Or is everyone as clueless about what's going on all the time as the author is#My plan was to catch up by the time the manga ended but I'm not even sure when it does end?#I read it somewhere it was on the 30th but I suppose the raws are out already#I'm at chapter 237 right now I should be done between tonight and tomorrow of I speed through#random rambles#delete later#Thinking of it it makes me a little shy to admit I've been reading itā I've read so many bad things in the past about it#I've been enjoying it so far tho#Edit: The āI have questions can anyone help me outā part is serious btw.#Though I suppose I should stop asking for help via little tags little people read ahah#Edit 2: J/UJUTSU KAISEN. I'M READING THAT.
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Thinking about that time before the betrayal. Those moments of happiness, of safety, of trust
When you think back to those moments and theyāre forever tainted. When youāre just going about your day and memories hit you and they hit you hard. So many emotions in the present moment. How could someone so horrible seem so good? Were there moments you missed? Signs they arenāt who you thought? How could you not know?
How could they do this to you? To others? How dare they pretend theyāre anything but a monsterā and they are, always have been. You know it now and you feel so stupid for having not before.
How can you ever trust again?
#whump#whump tropes#betrayal#betrayal whump#I am deep in the feels. it is not great. haha fuck#is good for writing though!#vent post#my posts#this was a fun little combination of blorbo thoughts and irl stuff#one last thing but itās more venty than the rest#and itās not going in the post cause it got too clunky but gods. the need (want) for revenge (or justice. one in the same for this) is#powerful. almost suffocating. you need to do /something/ but you just. canāt.#and it makes you feel powerless and angry but you canāt do anything about it.#youāre hurt in every way possible. and it breaks you a little bit#lol I need to go back to therapy
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